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| This is my first time back in... Wow, a long time. At least a year. I can honestly say I don't miss this. I just spent about 30 seconds scanning the stuff in my recent feed, and have realized that this has become a place (or perhaps always has been) for small, teenage-like bickery and dying-to-be-cool tales. Perhaps I'm just old a crochety. Maybe just developed as a person. Nothing looks remotely enjoyable here any longer. I am perfectly happy with that. Maybe I'll come back in another year and see if things have changed. | | |
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Well, I've failed miserably at my Lent goal of giving up TV, but I have been accomplishing more in general, so I think it's an even trade.
I've been hearing back from grad programs. U Wisconsin-Madison said no. That wasn't a huge loss to me. I wasn't very impressed with the people associated with the university; I just really really really liked the city. Enjoying the surroundings may not be the greatest reason to attend school, anyways. I was put on the waiting list for my #1 choice-in Kansas. I went to visit over fall break and was really impressed with the program itself and the opportunities it presented, and all the people I met were so genuine and helpful. After a few days of knowing I was on the waiting list though, I received an email stating that I was accepted into the program, so yay! I haven't heard back from my undergrad university, which I applied to the grad program for. I'm almost positive I've made the auto-admit, because I met all the standards. I'm not too interested in attending here, however. I've been in Indiana my entire life, and I am getting out of here! The fiance has grown to be really excited about this new place, too. When I told him (as a joke) I had changed my mind and wanted to stay here, he was really disappointed, so that means he really does want to go to Kansas too, so woot! ... That's all.
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| So, I wasn't thinking about giving up anything for Lent, seeing as how I have not practiced Catholicism for quite a number of years... I went to Bible study last night; our theme this semester is What the Bible Says About the Church. I think about how I don't dedicate nearly as much time as I should to God all the time. It was especially brought to the forefront last night, however. I've been under the impression lately that when I'm not doing homework, or wedding stuff, I am eating, sleeping, or taking a few moments to myself. I got to thinking, however that I waste an awful lot of time on TV. I realized that when I sit down to eat, I turn on the TV, finish eating, and continue watching, realizing 45 minutes later that I just wasted a bunch of time. I watch while I "study" fully knowing that I do not accomplish a single thing in this fashion. TV is SUCH a time waster, and it does nothing for my brain, body, or spirit. I gave it up for lent when I was about 9 or 10, because it was just something to show God that I don't need it to be happy then. Now, it's that I realize that I can spend my time in much more productive, God-pleasing ways. I'm pretty sure Lent 2011 will be spent with no television.
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| I learned (in my major-speech pathology) that many children who have behavioral problems: acting out, daydreaming, and maybe seem to be cheating off of other kids-- have an undetected hearing loss. Think about it!
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| So, I was at work, conversing with a co-worker, one of my supervisors actually. He asked me how wedding planning was going. I shrugged, "It's alright. Really slow. But things are going." He mentioned that I am quite emotionally subdued for a young woman planning her wedding, and proceeded with asking me, "Do you even like the guy?"
"Of course I like him! Would I be marrying him if I didn't? I love him! He's my guy, he's... "
"The butter to your bread?"
"No...more like the grilled to my pb&j."
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized how true that is. Without a man, I am still a whole, complete person. I am, by myself, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I can still be happy and satisfied, have a good time with others, and even bring happiness to others. Now what makes a pb&j even more warm, comforting, and delicious? Grilling it. Yes, just like a grilled cheese. My life is all that more delicious and comforting with this man in it. Not that I wouldn't be extremely sad if something happened to him or between us, cuz I would. I mean, really I would be heartbroken, but in time, I would mend, and become my whole self again. A new sandwich.
Basically, I realized that when someone asks me I knew I was ready, and how I knew he was the right one, I will explain all about the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Your life has to be whole first, you have to be a whole sandwich. Once that happens, you may find the right person who makes your life all the more enjoyable, who helps you melt into this delicious concoction of everything good you can be, but warmer, more intense. And you have to get the timing right, because you can't grill it before the sandwich is assembled. Otherwise, you just have buttered toast.
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